More Than Just Clorox
by tectrices
Summary: A dumping ground for anything and everything Bleach related that I've written. Ranging from humor to angst, UraharaYoruichi to RenjiByakuya and back again. Feedback welcome.
1. Feline Fancy

**Disclaimer:** I do not, have not, and will never own Bleach. These were written for good, clean, non-profit fun. 

1. Urahara/Yoruichi; Romance/Humor

* * *

The day had been boring so far; nothing of any interest had happened. Urahara Kisuke sighed and with all the energy he could muster began lethargically fanning himself. There was really nothing else to do. 

The only reason he hadn't gone completely crazy was the sweet anticipation of his plans for the evening. Yoruichi was coming to visit.

He grinned at the very thought.

And it seemed as though he wouldn't have to endure such wretched boredom any longer. A sleek black cat was walking through the yard - right towards him, it seemed.

"Oh hello," he said, his tone light andplayful. He held his fan up coyly. "Is there something I can do for you, little kitty?"

The cat didn't respond, instead walking up and rubbing against Urahara's leg.

He chuckled darkly. "Feeling particularly feline today, hmm?" He scratched down the cat's long, furry spine. "That's fine, Yoruichi. I don't mind at all." He picked the cat up and set it down in his lap. It started to purr. He scratched its ears, smirking as it started to flex its claws, getting more comfortable in his lap.

"You know, I think you'd be just as comfortable in your other form."

The cat ignored him, butting its head against his hand, asking to be scratched.

He laughed. "Tease. That long hair of yours is just as silky as your fur, though." He scratched the base of its tail, and the cat arched its back, purring even louder. "Though I have to admit that I prefer skin to fur. Mmm, soft skin the color of rich chocolate - you know what that does to me, Yoru."

He snaked an arm around the cat's middle. Sometimes, he could smell Yoruichi's actual scent underneath the fur and the smoky cat-smell. He nuzzled the soft fur on the cat's sleek back with his cheek. But he couldn't smell anything. He buried his nose further into the fur.

Then -

"Kisuke."

He froze. That voice...

He turned his head and saw Yoruichi standing there, her arms crossed over her chest, staring at him bemusedly. "Just what the hell are you doing to that cat?"

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Reviews are appreciated. 


	2. Inked

**Disclaimer:** Not mine. Ridiculously not mine, even. 

2. Renji; General; drabble - very, very close to 100 words; rated higher for one naughty word

* * *

He didn't mind pain. 

People always asked if it hurt, getting the whole of his body inked. But it was like a bite, a prick - come to feel familiar, stretched across his skin; and the pain no longer seemed such a foreign sensation. He drew comfort from it - that pain, needle and ink, artwork appearing across the length of his body. He liked the angles and lines, patterns of black twisting from his forehead downwards.

He didn't mind their doubts; but if anyone else asked about his fucking eyebrows... Zabimaru'd make sure they never had to worry about eyebrows again.

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Reviews appreciated, as always. Share the Renji-love. 


	3. Fire

3. Renji/Tatsuki; Romance; drabble - exactly 100 words, perhaps?

* * *

The first thought she had about him was "His head looks like it's on fire." But then she heard him speak and saw him move and experienced the volcano that was him and she had a second thought:

"He is fire."

Abarai Renji was brash and bold and brave and loud... But he was Abarai Renji and changing one thing would change everything and - God, he was just perfect, wasn't he? And the third thought Tatsuki had, while watching him argue and fight with his hair made of raging flame, was how much she wanted to keep watching him burn.

* * *

Shh! My secret-favorite Bleach pairing. Crack-ish and cute. Plausible, too. Reviews always appreciated. 


	4. Untitled

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Bleach.

4. Urahara/Yoruichi; humor/light romance-ish; 200 word drabble thing

* * *

Ururu never argued with Jinta when he complained about their boss. Urahara was eccentric, but underneath all his glowering and muttering, Jinta liked him as much as she did. And she knew something Jinta didn't - there was more to Urahara than it seemed.

They were sweeping one day when a familiar back cat came strolling into the yard. "I'm here to see Kisuke," it said quickly, tone brooking no interference or argument. "Where is he?"

Ururu pointed inside the shop as Jinta scowled and told the cat Urahara was doing inventory.

"Bah," Jinta said, sweeping with more fervor as the cat sauntered inside. "How pathetic is he? The only social visitor he ever has is a cat!" Jinta laughed and Ururu just nodded. If Jinta thought Kisuke-san was pathetic, then that was his business. Ururu knew differently. She had been hiding from Jinta in Urahara's closet when Yoruichi had unexpectedly dropped by. She had overheard their whole conversation. Urahara was even more enthusiastic about Yoruichi when they were alone. So Jinta could scoff, but he didn't know the whole story.

Ururu bet that he'd want a cat for a best friend, too, if he knew they turned into naked ladies.

* * *

Still finding these. I have about twenty or so saved somewhere in my livejournal, and about fifteen I haven't put on the computer yet. Reviews appreciated. 


	5. Back in Action

5. Isshin; general; drabble - 100 words, approx.; spoilers!!! for those not up to date with recent anime episodes (111, I think)

* * *

He'd do anything to see her again.

He'd do anything to still have her - to _still_ see her, still be able to hold her, still have Ichigo's smile, Karin's tears and Yuzu's lightheartedness. 

Nothing would bring her back; nothing would end the pain. 

But with his zanpakuto finally back in his hand, the _rush, swirl, buzz_ of his own, familiar spiritual pressure... It felt as though a weight had been lifted. 

Grand Fisher wasn't even a challenge, regardless of being an incomplete arrancar. And destroying him wouldn't bring Masaki back.

But _damn_. Isshin smirked. It felt good to be back.

* * *

Isshin is probably my favorite character - I really do adore his goofiness. Ha. Reviews appreciated. 


	6. Training

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Bleach. 

6. hints of Renji/Byakuya; mostly humor-ish; one-shot

* * *

Kuchiki Byakuya looked at his sister, hardly believing he was in such a situation. Beside her, that foul Kurosaki boy was smirking gleefully, relishing the squad six captain's embarrassment far more than he should. 

"What?"

Rukia sighed. "It's okay, nii-sama. I'm... fine with this." She looked at him sternly. "But if you don't mind, I'd like to go over a few things first."

Once again, Byakuya was struck with disbelief. He was supposed to be lecturing Rukia about her poor relationship choices, not the other way around. He was supposed to be giving Ichigo glares, warning him without words what would happen if the little brat hurt Rukia. He never expected to have the situation switched - to be hearing the lecture instead of giving it.

"I know it seems like he's tough, but Renji's actually very sensitive. He's a bit dense when it comes to emotions - "

"When it comes to everything," Ichigo interrupted quietly.

Rukia glared at him. "Like you can talk," she said shortly. "Anyway. I'm sure that you've gotten to know him a little better after working with him, but you haven't been working together quite long enough to acquaint you with all his quirks. Like I said, he's much more sensitive than he seems, so please don't hurt him."

There were several things there that Byakuya was having difficulty comprehending. First off - Abarai-fukutaichou sensitive? That was absolutely ridiculous. And secondly... "Rukia. Why are you informing me of all this?"

She looked as though his question surprised her. "Well, because you and Renji are... Well, you know, you're..."

An eyebrow raised dangerously. "We are... what?"

Her resolve seemed to weaken. "W-well, I mean..."

Luckily, Ichigo possessed little tact in such situations and could always be counted on to voice what another might be scared to say. "Lovers. You and Renji are lovers." He crossed his arms impatiently and began to scowl. "Me and Rukia already know, so don't try to deny it."

Byakuya tensed considerably. "I believe I misheard you. You seem to have said that Abarai-fukutaichou and I are - "

"Lovers, yeah." Ichigo nodded. "He's your bitch - we know."

"Ichigo!" Rukia turned towards him and glared.

"What? It's true, isn't it? I thought you said that you accidentally caught them -"

Before he could continue, Rukia shot over and clamped her hand over his mouth, inadvertently pinning him to the floor when she climbed on top of his chest for a better reach. "Ignore him, nii-sama!" she said quickly. "I know you and Renji aren't lovers - you're just very close. And that's okay." Her eyes widened and she leaned forward slightly, putting stress on her last point. "It's fine! Lots of captains and their lieutenants are... _close_. It's _perfectly natural_."

Once again, Byakuya mused on Rukia's absolutely marvelous lack of real subtlety. At that point, she was too involved in trying to reassure him to pay much attention to keeping Ichigo subdued, so it was really no surprise when the orange-haired young man managed to escape from her.

"Bah," Ichigo said disgustedly, pulling himself into a sitting position. He shot Rukia a glare, laced with residual irritation for being sat on. "Rukia, would you just shut up?" She swatted him, looking indignant. He ignored her and instead turned his attention to Byakuya. "We know that you and Renji are..." He glanced over at Rukia, who cleared her throat and gave him a significant look. He rolled his eyes. "Close. We know you and Renji are close. And Rukia wanted you to know that she doesn't care, and she doesn't want you screwing with the idiot's poor, sentimental heart."

"Ichigo, that wasn't exactly what I - "

"Does it matter? I'm ready to get the hell out of here."

Rukia rolled her eyes at Ichigo, then smiled at Byakuya brilliantly. "Well, I guess we better be going then, nii-sama. It was nice talking to you. And remember, whatever you and your friends might want to do in- "

"Rukia."

"All right, Ichigo - shut up and give me a second. Anyway. I hope you two are very... happy together. Friends or fellow division members or whatever you choose to be." She stood up and bowed, before going over and kissing his forehead affectionately. "See you later, nii-sama!"

The two left, and Byakuya finally had his blissful solitude back. The accusations were ridiculous; and it was almost as though Rukia had been giving her permission. As if Byakuya ever needed _permission_. He shook his head, vaguely thinking that it was time to return to his duties. He and his lieutenant... Lovers. It was ridiculous! He scoffed at such wildly inaccurate accusations, heading towards his office to delegate a new task. The lock on one of the spare offices needed to be repaired - after all, if Rukia had walked in on that new _training_ he and Renji were doing, there was no telling who else might have seen.

* * *

Ha ha. _Training._ Please, interpret that however you'd like to. If you review, something really good'll happen to you - just like in those great chain e-mails! 


	7. Devotion

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach. 

7. Urahara/Yoruichi; romance; one-shot (full and complete, surprise surprise) titled: "Devotion"

* * *

When they first met, he was small and scrawny with dirty knees and an inquisitve mind. He'd lead her off on grand adventures, far beyond the decadent surroundings she was used to. 

And he may have grown, but he kept the inquisitive mind.

It was what she was cursing most when, pale as ash and weary, he told her that he had to leave. He should have known that she'd never let him go alone. Who followed him when he was off traipsing through all of Rukongai? Who helped him sneak out without getting caught in their academy days?

And who would be there when he needed a capable partner? Who would keep him in line, make sure he didn't get kicked out of any other realms? Who would be there to keep him warm on cold, lonely nights, keep him out of the chill that a bleak, lonely life would surely afford him? He didn't seem to realize that exile meant _forever_. Benihime would be taken of the registry and he could never return - never see his friends and the world he had known since the first day of death.

She didn't care if it was dangerous - she was brave. She didn't care if it was difficult - she was strong. And she didn't care if she was exiled as well, because she would be with Kisuke, and that was all she ever wanted.

His eyes had been nearly dead when he told her she couldn't go. He had wanted her with him, of that she was sure. And he had wanted to protect her, as though a Shihouin princess, trained from childhood and head of the secret mobile corps, couldn't protect herself.

So she nodded defeatedly and told him she'd stay, hiding the determined light in her eyes.

He seemed so relieved. He took her hand in his for a moment, and his suddenly rekindled eyes told her what his mouth never would.

_"I love you."_

It made her more determined than ever to follow him, wherever he might go.

That was the first night they ever made love, warm and tangled on the hard floor of Kisuke's quarters. They should have known it would come to that eventually; they were made of the same stuff down at the core, and never would she find someone - lover or friend - who could do to her what Kisuke did, make her feel what Kisuke did.

It had been completely unplanned, and she knew it was supposed to be his last goodbye. It was easier that way. As his friend she would have been angry, would have raged and stormed until he had to dismiss her to keep his resolve for a solitary exile strong. But as more than friends... He had his goodbye. He had a memory he thought they could both keep forever.

Of course it wasn't healthy, and of course he was a fool if he thought she wouldn't try something anyway. But it was wonderful, and Yoruichi had to wonder why they hadn't ever done it before. His skin was soft and warm, and his kisses tasted like smoke and water.

He had curled up beside her, his body spooned to hers, when she finally decided what she'd do. If he was worried that she'd be exiled as well for aiding him, then she'd wait. No one was ever exiled for simply running away.

She was awake when he left her. She heard him prepare a few things, and she heard him leave with a soft, whispered "goodbye".

Her fists clenched in the blanket and she swore that she'd pound some sense into that stubborn head of his when they had both arrived safely in the mortal world.

When she arrived back at her own home, everyone was talking about the ex-taichou of the twelfth division. It seemed the order had gone through early, and she wasn't surprised that the gossip was spreading like wildfire even at such an early hour. Everyone knew of their friendship as well, and she got more than a few condoling looks. It was hard to suppress a smile, knowing that soon she'd be joining him and there'd be new gossip to spread around. Occasionally, someone would voice concern for her, but she would smile sadly and shrug it off - letting them think that the news was still sinking in.

After about the third "Are you... all right?" she decided it was time to go. She sighed heavily and proclaimed her sudden desire for a solitary walk. They all just smiled in commiseration and let her go.

When Kisuke saw her sauntering up, he was speechless and his mouth hung open in a very unattractive gape. She smirked and asked if he really thought she'd let him get away. That got his eyes open, just marginally wider.

But then he had smiled radiantly and had touched her arm and told her that she shouldn't have come. She knew he was lying. And she assured him that she could return to Soul Society any time she wanted, but that devotion was a strange thing, and there was something in the mortal world that she was just a little more loyal to.

That had put a brightness in his eye that she had once equated with a brilliant discovery. It made her heart spill over to know that she had caused it.

She would never let him know that, though, so she walked arrogantly past him and asked where the hell he planned on letting her stay.

Kisuke scratched his head and answered truthfully that he hadn't really thought about it - he had only just gotten there himself, after all.

The mortal world suited them both, and though Yoruichi preferred to wander, she knew that there would always be a room for her if she needed it. Tessai joined them not long after, and for awhile she refused to come out of cat form when she learned that they had planned it that way all along.

Eventually they found that Kurosaki Isshin had chosen the same town to settle down in, and had even managed to produce semi-normal offspring. And then Jinta and Ururu came along (though whether Kisuke created them or not, she was never really sure), and things settled into a ridiculously normal sort of pattern.

Yoruichi got bored of it quickly, and found more and more excuses to wander off and explore their new realm. But she'd still return when the nights were cold and she knew Kisuke needed a warm body beside him. He said that sex with her was like a good battle, and even coming from him it was the best compliment she had ever received.

Though he had often assured her that she would, she never regretted her decision. Her devotion never wavered. And before she left for an extended period of time, and just after she returned, her eyes told him what her mouth never would. Why she had come and why she stayed.

And she would always, always remain as devoted to him as ever. Things, for them, were just that simple.

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Aching for con-crit on this, little ficlings. Give a girl an honest thought - please and thanks. 


	8. Also Untitled

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach. 

8. Kurosaki family (starts in lim. 3rd person with Karin , about Isshin's secret); general/a few sentences in a half-hearted attempt at suspense-ish feelings; one-shot, jumps right in and leaves on a cliff-hanger, though

* * *

"What's going on?" Yuzu asked her sister helplessly, huddling closer to the wall. "Everything's moving, and... and it's doing it on its own, all I can see are flashes. Karin, I'm frightened!" 

Karin swallowed down her own fear and tightened her hold on her twin sister's hand. "I know. And I don't know what exactly is doing this, but... be glad you can't see them." Her eyes darted over to a far spot on the other wall, where something had just created a huge dent. "Can you see Ichi-nii?"

Yuzu shook her head. "Not any better than I can see the monsters. Are he and Rukia-chan - "

"Yeah. They're fighting. They're the only reason we're even alive right now."

Suddenly the girls heard a sort of strangled cry and their father was pitched into the room.

Yuzu gasped and clung to her sister even more tightly than before. "Oh no," Karin murmured, mostly to herself. "He's going to have no idea what's going on. He never could see ghosts or anything." She felt Yuzu tremble and her own courage wavered. "You have to save us, Ichi-nii - you're our only hope now."

But Kurosaki Isshin had not begun crying and screaming and generally running around like a chicken with its head cut off as Karin had expected him to do. No, he had simply stood up and was looking around with a steely glint in his eye. He was looking over towards Ichigo - looking as though he could actually see. Suddenly, Karin's perception of her father changed. As something in his expression hardened, she realized that the man she was seeing was not the man she had known all her life.

_"Is this really the man who would do anything to make us laugh?"_ she wondered silently. _"Is this the man who would cry and whine to a larger-than-life poster of his late wife - who would attack his son every morning and then get beaten down?"_ She looked intently at her father. No, this was someone new - or perhaps someone old, someone he had kept hidden from his family for all her life.

And as she watched him, something else seemed to change. He seemed suddenly to have come to some decision - to gather all his resolve.

"Ichigo!" he barked, "you have to kill it before it can regenerate - deliver the second blow immediately after the first."

Ichigo, instead of following his father's advice, stopped fighting in shock, his zanpakutou nearly falling from his hand. Rukia, also, seemed to have been taken aback. Though she still had the wits to fight, her concentration had been broken.

Karin saw it before Ichigo did - one of those monsters, a hollow, coming up from behind. Her voice stuck in her throat and she couldn't call out. It was going to get him - there was no way he could stop it if it took him by surprise. Her only brother...

She wasn't ever sure what happened next, but suddenly her father jumped out of his body, and one of him moved over to Ichigo while the other crumpled to the floor. Yuzu screamed. "DADDY!"

Karin felt the girl's heaving sobs on her shoulder, knowing that though Yuzu couldn't see him, their father was fine - she just didn't know how to offer any sort of comfort.

Isshin lunged over Ichigo and brought the sword he suddenly held right down in a clean stroke, which cleft the monster neatly in two. Its shape blurred and, as though made of air, the pieces evaporated into nothing. Ichigo by then had regained his senses, and though feeling utterly shocked, he had begun to help Rukia fight one of the last of the hulking monsters that had invaded the Kurosaki home. Isshin tore into the other two immediately, and within another two minutes the house was still, leaving only the - suddenly three - shinigami standing.

"All right," Isshin said, turning to face his son. He wore the same outfit Rukia and Ichigo did, but he had what looked to be a tattered white cape attached to one shoulder by a metal band. He looked around at the rather grim surroundings. "Looks like it's time for a few explanations."

* * *

Does this feel unfinished? I thought it was okay... Anyway, reviews are appreciated. Oh, and while we're on the topic - I started a Bleach forum for discussing unanswered quesions (such as all the Isshin suddenly being a shimigami stuff). Check it out if you're interested.  



	9. They Don't Mean Soccer

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach.

9. Kurosaki family, Rukia, Urahara; General; One-Shot; spoilers only if you know what I'm talking about

* * *

Rukia and Ichigo smiled tightly at the man in the doorway. "This is a bad idea," he whispered. "Why the hell did he want to come over here?"

Rukia elbowed him hard in the ribs. "Shut up and let our guest inside."

"This way, Urahara-san!" Yuzu said brightly, leading the for once hatless man into the house. "We're so glad you could come for dinner."

"Ahh, yes. You must be Kurosaki-kun's little sister. So nice to meet you!" He bowed a little and offered a box to her. "A gift - old-fasioned home remedies from my shop. I'm sure they'll come in handy."

"Yeah, whatever," Ichigo murmured, following behind them. "They were probably just expired."

Suddenly, however, they were accosted by the Kurosaki patriarch. "Ichigo - time for... DINNER!" And he stood in a fighting stance, facing a blond stranger, his three children and Rukia.

Ichigo cleared this throat and stepped forward. "Dad..." He glared at his father. "This is, uh... Urahara Kisuke. Remember? I told you that we'd be having a guest tonight."

For a moment, he was met with only a blank stare. Then his father suddenly snapped his fingers in remembrance. "Ahh! Yes! A dinner guest! Of course, of course - please come this way, kind sir! Experience some Kurosaki hospitality."

Karin rolled her eyes and Ichigo tightly clenched his jaw. At least Urahara was as weird as their dad, Ichigo knew - otherwise the evening would be even worse that it already was threatening to be.

They all sat down at the table soon after that, and for an awkward moment no one did anything but eat.

Urahara wouldn't have been there at all if Ichigo and Rukia had had their say - but he had essentially invited himself. Apparently, he had information about the arrancar; and he had insisted - for reasons he was unwilling to divulge - on telling them at Ichigo's house. They couldn't really tell him "no"; it was possible that Karin could sense that Urahara was spiritually gifted, but other than that - barring a total admission of everything involving shinigami and Ichigo's frequent disappearances - they couldn't foresee Urahara doing anything too compromising.

"So!" Isshin said, suddenly breaking the silence. "How do you know Ichigo, Urahara-san? You look too old to go to school with him. Are you a relative of Rukia-chan?"

"A relative? Oh no, no." He gave Isshin a friendly smile. "I'm... on a soccer team that Ichigo recently joined. He's a... great player, you know."

Karin seemed incredulous. "Soccer? Ichi-nii? I don't - "

"No, Karin," Ichigo said, giving her a stern look that held a promise for explanation later. "I am on this... soccer team. That's right."

Yuzu smiled. "I'm happy, nii-chan! Now you and Karin-chan can play together."

"Um..." Ichigo tried to return her smile. "Right."

"Soccer." Isshin grinned, seeming proud. "Well. I'm glad - Ichigo needs a sport. Maybe some exercise will help him finally beat his old man."

"What the hell? I beat you all the time, you - "

"Ichigo!" Rukia said sharply. "Calm down."

Reluctantly, he lowered the chopstick he had been brandishing like a sword and lost the tension in his shoulders.

Urahara ignored their antics. "Yes," he said, continuing the conversation he had started. "Ichigo's one of our best players. The strongest, and uh... fastest." He took a quick bite. "We're facing some tough opponents soon. Another team - but they're one of the best. All the players are huge guys; and amazingly strong. They could crush us if we're not prepared."

"Sounds like that'll be more of a battle than a game," Isshin remarked idly. He and Urahara exchanged glances.

"You played once, didn't you?" Urahara asked him, his expression holding new intensity.

"What? Goat-chin?" Karin shook her head. "No way."

"No, it's true," Urahara continued. He smirked. "When he was younger, Kurosaki-san here was his team's captain."

Isshin's face dead-panned. "Oh, you know about that Urahara-san?" He took a bite of his food, trying to reign in his irritation. "I, uh..." Then he decided to go the least suspicious route. "Yes! And I was the best player in all of Karakura! Clearly my darling children get their amazing skills from me!" He preened to himself as Ichigo and Karin both rolled their eyes at him.

"If you were that good," Urahara said deliberately, "then I'll bet you would be a lot of help for us."

Isshin laughed; the younger ones missed how forced it sounded. "Is this... recruitment, Urahara-san?"

"Something like that."

* * *

I love leaving those not-quite endings. And, of course, Isshin is still fabulous. Here's hoping he'll make an appearance in an upcoming chapter.


	10. Kenpachi Rex

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach.

10. Zaraki/Unohana; Romance, smut-ish; Drabble (100 words, I think); rated higher for a bit of bad language

* * *

"Hey," he said suddenly, tightening his grip on her, "what the hell's your given name, anyway? Bad form to screw a girl and not know her name."

She slid her hands further up and whispered, "Retsu. But I didn't know you cared about good form."

He grunted. "Call me Kenpachi if you want," he told her casually. "Anything but 'Ken-chan' - I have enough problems without adding some reverse Oedipus shit to it."

She laughed soflty. "Of course." She pushed her thick mane of hair behind her shoulders and stepped between his legs.

Everything after was a blur.

* * *

Wrote this awhile ago - found it and decided to post. I love this pairing; talk about opposites. Reviews are always appreciated.


	11. Power

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach.

11. Renji/Byakuya; General-ish, smut-ish; Drabble; rated higher for mention of sex and one naughty word

* * *

Because it was about domination. About the intoxicating rush of control and the sweet surge of the other's submission as his sword gave way.

It was about power.

Because in the middle of the heat and sweat and the bodies tangled up as one, taut and slick on top of each other - there was always one screaming and the other making him do it.

It was about power.

Because underneath their shells of taichou, fukutaichou, noble, peon, uptight, and brash - they were warriors. They were strong. And whether it was pain or pleasure, fighting or fucking...

It was about _power_.

* * *

I do Bleach drabbles a lot. Not sure why. Wrote this about a year ago.


	12. Checking Up

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach.

11. Isshin, daughters, Urahara; General; One-shot; spoilers, sort of

* * *

"This is stupid," Karin muttered to Yuzu as they walked down the sidewalk a few feet behind their father. "Why did Dad insist on this stupid shopping trip anyway? We haven't even bought anything - we haven't even gone into a single store yet."

"You didn't have to come," Yuzu reminded her softly.

"Bah." Karin stuffed her hands into the pockets of her shorts and looked away, scowling. "You saw how weird he was acting this morning. Well, weirder than usual," she amended. "So there was no way I was letting him go out on his own." She looked towards the family patriarch. "Hey goat-chin," she yelled, "Where're we going?"

Isshin turned. "What? Oh my darling daughter! Did I truly forget to tell you of our destination?" He rushed towards the two girls, but Karin stopped the oncoming embrace with a hard fist to her father's face.

"Don't be such an idiot all the time," she said angrily. "Just tell me where we are going."

Her father jumped up with a huge smile, apparently - and to Karin's dismay - unharmed. "Ahh! That, my most darling of daughters, is a surprise! Come Yuzu, quickly - before your dear sister sends your father to an early grave." He took his light-haired daughter's small hand and continued merrily along.

Karin, realizing that she had gotten as much out of him as she was going to - and rather miffed that Yuzu put up with all his idiocy so placidly - put on an Ichigo-worthy scowl and trudged along grumpily behind them.

Before too much longer, they reached a strange-looking sort of what Karin assumed to be a shop. She walked up next to an unmoving Yuzu, who was gazing up at the sign. Karin looked up to see what had gotten her sister's attention. "Huh. Just what kind of place did the bearded wonder drag us to this time?"

"Come along children," Isshin said brightly, gently leading his daughters inside with a hand on both their shoulders. As soon as they got inside, Karin spotted two other children who looked to be about her age. Actually, one of them looked very familiar... She realized after a moment of contemplation that it was the guy who used to run around with Don Kanonji who always complained about not being red. That was when they were the group of "Karakura Superheroes".

"Come on, Yuzu," Karin said with a smirk, straightening her cap. "Even if Dad does drag us off to weird places, the least we can do is enjoy ourselves."

She had just walked up to Jinta and was going to greet him - with a hearty punch - when suddently a blond man in a bucket hat came up.

He held a fan up to his face and said "Welcome! I'm Urahara Kisuke, humble shopkeeper. And this is my modest little establishment. How can I be of service?"

Isshin bounded towards him with more energy than a grown man should really possess. "Ahh! Oh, kind, humble shopkeeper - show me your wares!"

"Of course! Your lovely children here can play with my workers Jinta and Ururu while we go look at some of my fine merchandise."

Karin rolled her eyes, but had no real objections to Urahara's stated plan. She did not know why her father had to be so remarkably insane, but apparently he had just made an equally bizarre friend. "Whatever," she muttered, crossing her arms over her chest. "Come on, kid - you gotta soccer ball?"

Jinta sneered. "Only if you've got some weird wish to be humiliated. Go get it, Ururu - let's play."

Urahara and Isshin watched as the four children ran off into the yard to start a game of soccer. When he was sure they were out of earshot, Isshin casually walked over to what appeared to be a candy rack. "Hmm," he said, his voice conspicuously loud. "Let me inspect this fine selection of sweets you have."

He picked up a bag colorfully labeled "Candy! Delicious!" as Urahara walked over. "I can't seem to find an expiration date," Isshin told him, holding out the bag.

"Ahh. Well let me see if I can be of any help." Urahara grabbed the bag and took a step closer. Then he glanced at Isshin significantly.

The eldest Kurosaki didn't miss it. "How'd it go?" he asked quietly.

"Exactly as anticipated," Urahara answered. "As far as I can tell, they made it there without a hitch."

"So Ichigo's all right?"

Urahara nodded. "All right and successfully invading Soul Society." He grinned. "Don't worry - I sent Yoruichi with them, after all. They're in good hands."

"Or paws, as it were," Isshin responded lightly. He sighed. "I should have planned for this - I expected he'd see shinigami, but I never thought one of them would give him their power." He grinned, overflowing with fatherly proud. "And he's strong - ridiculously strong."

"He might be able to beat me one day," Urahara agreed. "If he keeps training. And he's going to need that strength - something's going to happen soon."

"And why do I get the feeling that you're behind it?" Isshin rolled his eyes. "I better go - I only wanted to know how Ichigo's little trip went. Here, let me have this candy so my daughter won't ask questions." He handed Urahara a little money. "See you, Kisuke."

A moment later, Isshin was outside, trying to join the soccer game. "Wait!" he called, rushing to Karin. "Let Daddy play! I want to help you lead the way to victory!"

Karin stopped the ball and glared at him. "Are you done shopping?" He nodded feverishly. "Then let's go home." She kicked the ball hard one last time, right at Jinta's head. "Come on, Yuzu - let's go." She began walking off, her sister trailing behind her - and their father scrambling up to join them.

Urahara, watching from inside the shop, grinned knowingly to himself. He had known many people - many shinigami. But nobody - absolutely nobody! - could play the fool quite as well as Isshin could.

* * *

Yeah, okay - Isshin is awesome; I have so many scenes like this, and even more where Ichigo finds out about him. Reviews always appreciated.


	13. Recurring Themes

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach.

13. Renji/Tatsuki; light romance; not quite a drabble at 125 words

* * *

He was caught, and he knew it.

He had thought nothing of her when he had first seen her, had noticed nothing special when he had first met her. The relationship had started off as nothing more than an attempt to blend in at school by making friends. Then, it progressed to a distraction from the boredom of the school day. He had never intended for it to be more.

But suddenly he found himself thinking about her when she wasn't around, caught himself staring at her when she was.

"Damn it," he muttered to himself, watching her with her friends. "It's always the short-haired, flat-chested ones that get me."

* * *

Renji/Tatsuki is one of my favorite pairings. But woe to the non-canon-ness...


	14. Unbelievable

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Bleach.

14. Renji/Tatsuki; romance; drabble; no warnings

* * *

Orihime laughed when she heard. "Tatsuki-chan, that's funny! That's really funny! Ooh, is this a big joke?"

Tatsuki stared. "O-Orihime..."

Orihime just giggled. "Dating Renji-kun... Good one, Tatsuki-chan; no one'll expect this!"

And leaving her friend still laughing, Tatsuki trudged out of the apartment.

"So," Renji asked, "how'd it go?"

Tatsuki blinked. "She... laughed. She didn't believe me."

Renji scoffed. "Please. She believes in giant robots and mole people."

_Nod._

"And she won't believe we're dating."

_Nod._

"Damn." He shook his head and put an arm around her shoulders. "I don't even want to know what everyone else's reaction'll be."

* * *

I like this drabble. I always liked Orihime when she first appeared, so that's how I always write her. (Yeah, disappointed a bit by more recent characterization...) This was written some time in 2006. Reviews always appreciated.


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